Sometimes you just dont know what to do with yourself

OK. Sitting here tonight in the evening of yet another beautiful (not to mention warm) spring day feeling sorry for myself (for no reason other then the need to hate my life), when it dawned on me that things are not always as they appear. So as I sat here trying to figure out exactly what is wrong with my life and how to fix it. So I decided to take stock. I have . . . 2 beautiful and smart children, a wonderful and gorgeous husband, 3 semi enjoyable dogs, my health, a beautiful house that is located on the out skirts of a quaint little town, family, friends, and (not that it matters) money to pay for what we need. On the outside it must seem that I have everything that I need, any and everything that a woman could ask for in life. So one might ask "Why the FUCK is she bitching and feeling sorry for herself" The truthfully answer to that question is I DON'T KNOW. My life by all accounts is perfect or at least what I consider to be perfect. My kids are well behaved they aren't out robbing liquor stores, or selling and doing drugs. They truly are great my 12 year old daughter is an honor roll student(for the 3rd quarter in a row), band geek (trumpet), Girl Scout (she is currently working on her Bronze Award which for all you that don't know Girl Scouts it is the highest award you can receive as a Junior Girl Scout) and a all around great kid. She loves being a girly girl but she is ruff and will call you on your Drama, she doesn't like lies and stands for what she believes in. She wants to join the 4H next year and maybe volunteer at the local ASPCA this summer. Lou is only 12 years old and already she is a better human being than I will ever be. My son is your average 5 year old boy, happy, healthy and also a good student. We call him Pork Chop (if you ever see a pic of him you will know why) and he is built like a brick out house. He loves to run and play with his dog and play baseball and football with his Dad, and read me a story every night. He builds ramps out of pieces of wood he finds scattered in the yard and like any Mom I worry he might break his neck jumping them on his bike. My husband is truly a great guy, (for everyone that doesn't know him) he is a little ruff around the edges but he isn't violent with me and the kids, he doesn't take the path some men take and run around with other women, he is a great Dad, and a wonderful provider. He has an addiction (PlayStation, it is his form of crack I guess) but I can handle it. I call him my boyfriend and he giggles (shh don't tell him that I told you he giggles), we have been together for 10 years now and he is everything to me. Him and the kids are what keeps me going. They are my light, my compass, my world, with out them I would be lost. Now the dogs are a different story some days I could live with out them. But they are great dogs, Bella and Beast are the defenders of the yard, protectors of the kids, and the best pair of baby sitters you can get when all your willing to pay is dog food. Beast gets out in the yard and waits for that school bus every day, and there is nothing like seeing them when Pork chop comes through the gate. Tails start wagging, tongues are going and they are so happy to see the kids. Precious is a different story, she is Lou's dog and that is all I am going to say about the over grown squirrel. As for the house, We love it, 3 bedrooms, 2 bath rooms and all the space we need. It is perfect for the 4 of us. If I could change anything about my life the only thing I think I would change is the distance between here and Rhode Island, because contrary to what i make people believe I really do miss it. Not the state but the people. My Parents, my brothers & their children, Brenda & George & the girls, Paul & Terrie, Jake, Kim & McKenna (another baby I haven't met yet).

We have just about everything we need, so tell me, what is so wrong with my life? Why is it that I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I should be happier then a pig in shit? I guess it is just me looking for something to bitch about. just me looking to see if things really are as bad as I think they are sometimes. Who knows. Do you think I need to STFU, suck it up and move on or do I have a legitimate complain with life? Let me know what you all think. To all my friends and family I love you all for different reasons and I hope you know what they are. I hope I didn't bore you all to death with all this needless, mind numbing stuff.

Love Yas MUAHHHHHHHHH!