A conversation with my son

THIS IS THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION I HAD WITH MY SON ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO...Let me set the scene for you. Beautiful 85 degree sunny day (ok so I lie it was humid as HELL and probubly closer to 100 degrees). Bellla and me are standing on the porch talking about mowing the grass, how I really don't want to do it in the heat and why she can't do it . When along comes my son IS and his bike. As he is trying to get the bike up on the porch the following conversation occures...

me- Son exactly what are you doing?

IS - I am gonna ride my bike off the porch

me- Umm No your not

IS-ummm yes I am

(the whole 'ummm' thing is our little sarcastic thing we do)

me- NO YOU ARE NOT, you will get hurt

IS- no I won't, I'm tuff remember

me-Isaiah Jared Anderson, get the bike off the porch you are NOT riding it off of here you will break your crazy little neck, and if you don't you will break your bike.

IS-No I won't, it will be ok, Daddy told you to let me be a boy remember and this is what boy's do, you don't know what boys do cause your a girl

me-you don't speak to me that way, i don't care what daddy said, get the bike off the porch NOW!

This is where the fight starts with him, we go back and forth for a few minutes with the whole, No you can't, yes I can, thing now he is doing the whole whinning thing he does and it is just about over when he throws a rock down the hill to the brush pile, and I finally said . . .

me-Fine, go for it, ride your bike off the porch, and when you get hurt or break your bike I don't want to hear you cry.

IS- I won't get hurt or break my bike

me- if you break your bike me and daddy are not gonna take it to uncle Larry to fix it, and you won't get a new one either. And if you break yourself, you will have to stay broken because I am not going to take you to the doctor to fix you.

The entire time that I am talking he is putting on his helmet, and getting on his bike. NOW mind you our porch is about 40 feet long, about half way there is a 4 inch step down, and the high end (the way that Isaiah has his bike pointing)of the porch is about 4 feet or better off the ground. The ground is flat for about 2 maybe 3 feet then it is a hill, at the bottom of this hill is a washout from the rain(over time) wich as you can imagine is all uneven(in one spot it is almost a foot deep) and about a foot and a half wide with a board over part of it. And that is not mentioning the trees this kid has to miss (4 in total) which in order to miss he has to cut left HARD as soon as he hits the ground. So I say a quick prayer in my head asking god to protect this kid. On the count of 3 he is off. He makes the small step down and is actually looking good, he then makes both the big drop and the hard turn (THANK GOD), goes down the hill,over the board JUMPS the remaining part of the washout (which is no big feat at this point) and then skids out. HE MADE IT! The entire thing, not a scratch, cut, scrape, bruise, broken bone, or anything!

I don't remember taking a breath from the time the wheels on his bike started moving till the time they stopped. I had the phone in my hand ready to dial 911 and his father at work. This kid is going to be the death of me without a doubt. How on earth his Grandmother (Terrie) ever raised 2 'Anderson' boys will remain a mystery to me for the rest of my life. For that fact I don't know how any woman raised a boy with out wanting to wrap him in bubble wrap every time he left her site is beyond me. All I can say it THANK GOD he didn't get hurt, and he has lived that moment out in his life. HOPEFULY he won't want to do it ever again.

Thanks for listening. Let me know what you think, and if any one has a 6 year old girl they want to trade for a 6 year old boy let me know(LOL).