It takes a village

Everyone has heard that old addage; "It takes a village to raise a child". Isn't that what a family is, a village of sorts? Then why do more families not practice this addage? I mean if you think about it a village and a family have very similar attributes. Both have a mixture of people that vary in age, gender, and race, that are helping one another to achieve a common goal. When I moved from Rhode Island to Georgia I had a very singular mind frame when it came to the meaning of the word FAMILY. Because I belong to a big family that celebrates holidays, birthdays or any chance we felt like celebrating together I assumed that all families where like this. I knew that not all families where as large as mine but 9 out of 10 familes still sat down and ate together, the children had chores that they had to do daily, and every one worked together toward that one common goal. Well evidently when it comes to people in the south (and I don't mean to offend any one with this) that type of Family does not exist. My daughter has many friends here in Manchester and when they come here to our house to visit they are shocked to find out that my children actually have chores that they have to do. One of her friends had no idea how dishes at her house got clean, she actually thought that her mother had tons and tons of dishes and when they got dirty she threw them out and got news ones. Another one of her friends was shocked and mad at me because I told her she could not spend Christmas Eve and Day with us that she needed to be with her family. Family is something that is only practiced in a fashion that I would call normal in 1 out of 3 homes. I know a few families that do not get together for Hollidays or children's birthdays, or just for a summer cook out, infact if they see someone in their family in the grocery store they will turn and walk in the oposite direction of that person to avoid them, simply because they don't want to be bothered with all the "family stuff". Most southern families don't bother with one another unless it is absolutely nessesary. In a family like mine this is unbelievable, and unheard of.

Now on to what this post was originally about . . .

I remember when my children where younger (and even now) and if we where visiting at a family member's house and some one said to one of my children "Stop that" "No" OR anything along those lines I never worried. I knew that who ever the adult was, that my child was not being picked on the child was being disciplined. If one of my children's Aunts or Uncles picked up one of my children and pop their butt, hand OR place them on a time out ment that the Child had committed something so bad that it was warranted, not that the Adult in the situation didn't like my child. If someone said to me "you need to make this child mind, she/he is being a little brat" then I knew it was time to step up and tend to the child, NOT flip out and have a hissy fit. There are times to react and times to let it slide OR as Bonnie says "Don't sweat the small stuff". In a family, every one helps every one else no matter whether that help comes in the form of (house work, yard work, moving stuff around, watching kids or what ever), you expect nothing in return for helping except a thank you and maybe a good meal. I don't understand why people get so upset when another person (in the 'Family') say things to their children, as if the only person that should do anything to correct a child's behavior is the parent, to me the idea of that is as foriegn as trying to speak Chinese. If my children, myself and JD where (for example only) at thier Aunt Bonnie's house and Bonnie said to my Son "Stop being a little punk" I wouldn't even bat an eyelash at it because evidently my son is acting like a punk and is on his Aunt's last nerve with it. And I can say with out a shadow of a doubt that wether the child is Mine, Jed and Charlottes, Tina and Jim's, one of Bonnie's or Vanessa's grand kids, that child is going to be treated the same way no matter what.

I guess what I am trying to say is that children are just that CHILDREN, they are gonna act up, and get on someone's nerves. Not every little thing is a federal issue that needs to be tended to with capital punishment. It takes a village to raise a child,(even a princess).